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I was recently reading a chapter in Emotional Agility by Susan David, PhD, and this simple passage stood out to me,
“Keep your eyes on your own work. Remember the phrase from your school days? Teachers used it as a warning to students not to cheat during a test. But it had a second purpose too: to stop you from second-guessing yourself.”
And later she mentioned, “Keeping your eyes on your own work is even more important when you’re tempted to compare yourself with a person completely out of your league.”
“That’s in part because we tend to focus on the end result rather than on what it takes to get there.”
Where am I going with this?
This phrase has been ringing in my heart and mind since I read it. It seems so relatable to our current situation because there are no “experts” at dealing with a global pandemic.
In the last six months, I was encouraged by my wellness doctor (who is also my therapist–she’s a jack of all trades) to adopt a beginner’s mindset. She urged me to find something that I could do that would give me an outlet to my current work, provide a sense of belonging or accountability, and challenge me to learn from the ground up. She asked me what type of fitness programs I was interested in, and if I found one that would provide the needs mentioned above, I would also plug a few more necessities to keep a healthy mind and body. After a little brainstorming and a suggestion she had, we landed on me trying out CrossFit. I know there are lots of rumors out there for and against CrossFit, but hear me out. I’m not a recruiter, and I think this message applies to many readers–no matter your fitness of choice.
As most of my readers and those who have heard me speak know, I struggle with perfectionism. It’s one of my many less favorable traits. I will overthink something, map out a plan, and pay attention to every single detail to perfect it. Granted, that trait has helped me make significant gains and has supported me to crush my personal and professional goals. However, it has many adverse effects on overall mental health and wellness.
When Dr. D suggested I find something I had no idea how to do, she knew I wouldn’t strive for perfection. She knew I’d be forced to adopt a beginner’s mindset and be reminded to focus on personal growth along with rekindling new levels of empathy, compassion for others, and a sense of self-worth. It may come as no surprise, but that is exactly what happened. I began learning beginner-level skills, and not even looking at other elite athletes in my gym/box. It was pointless to focus on their expertise; I focused on my “scaled workout” (for educators, my CrossFit IEP) and listened to my coach’s comments to tweak and learn. It wasn’t hard to concentrate on my own work. Every day I’d strived to make a new PR in some skill (any skill) and hear my coach tell me I was making progress. That was it. If that happened, I felt successful.
*Side note, the immediate feedback one receives in CrossFit makes this fitness program fit me like my favorite Lucky Brand skinny jeans. No lie. The coaches’ approach to instruction is what we wish for in our everyday classrooms.
Being forced to have a beginner’s mindset was serving me well. Small gains were big wins, even if just the coaches and I knew of them.
We are all beginners at navigating the effects of COVID-19. Unfortunately, we were all forced to grow new ways of doing business from the ground up. But is this mindset entirely unfortunate? Might some benefits come from all of this new learning? What if we rekindle new levels of empathy, compassion for others, a sense of self-worth, and the worth of others and their talents throughout this experience?
Remember back in grade school, when you didn’t really want to cheat, but your eyes just wanted to take a peek and see what others were doing? Or, did you ever have that teacher who would post the whole classes graded papers out in the hallway for others to see? That 95% doesn’t feel so incredible when you see the whole entire class got a 98% or higher, right?
When the eyes shift from recognizing what is good and great, it becomes a bit more challenging to “focus on your own work.”
It’s been six months since I joined CrossFit, and now we are in quarantine due to COVID-19. Our coaches have done an outstanding job at flipping the fitness instruction with YouTube videos, a private Facebook group, and of course, our accountability app.
I’ve learned so much from this experience.
One major eye-opener is the fact of how freakin’ talented the athletes at KVCF are. As I mentioned earlier, I never really noticed their “CrossFit IEP” or what exactly they were doing during our everyday class workout, but now–we all report them in our private Facebook group. And, their intensity and endurance levels astound me! There is a reason they look so buff! But…for real! It’s NEXT LEVEL, for sure!
Another thing I noticed is how supportive the community is to each other. I saw this in class, too. However, most who know me know it takes me a little time to warm up to new communities. It seems silly that I can speak to thousands of educators, hug necks afterward and sign books, and show myself genuinely friendly. It’s not a show; I love it. Yet, when I join a group that I’ve never met before in a field, I have no experience in, I’m pretty quiet and to myself. Therefore, when we had real live CrossFit classes–at the gym (box), I would workout, talked to my coach about improvements and goals for the next day, and leave. Focused on my own work, but not embracing the full experience.
But now, this private Facebook group is our main means of connecting. I’ve found myself commenting on the other athletes’ performance and let them know how in awe I am of their talents. And, sometimes, they comment back on mine. It’s pretty neat, actually! It’s surprising how a little blue thumbs-up motivates me to try harder the next day. And, should that “like” come from a coach, that adds an extra boost of motivation. The point is, I’m beginning to realize the community aspect of this experience through social distance workouts, strangely.
Isn’t it remarkably ironic that we are able to recognize the strengths and talents of some of our students we never saw before when connecting remotely? The collective creativity that is being brought out by many learners (young and adults, too) blows my mind. It’s as if I never realized they possessed that strength until we needed it in this time of crisis.
Also, have you found the need for a little pat on the back, aka a “thumbs up” virtually, to feel extra warm and fuzzy now that we can’t see each other and read body language? There is no doubt, human connection is something most all crave. It’s that REALness we love. Now more than ever, we must be intentional to show those within our learning community that “we see you and we think you’re crushin’ this thing!” Little is much in times like these. It doesn’t take much time to give a little “like,” a quick call, or a video message–and can mean the world to that one on the other side of the screen.
As I watched the private CrossFit Facebook group come alive, my eyes began to wander. I allowed myself to focus on the work of others, and while I was super impressed and cheering them on, I began to feel this sense of urgency to improve at a rapid pace. My 95% didn’t feel like an accomplishment–let’s be honest, it’s more like a 60%, right now, but you get my point. Bringing it back to Dr. David’s quote at the beginning of this post, I began to “focus on the end result rather than on what it takes to get there.” I had to catch myself and recognize that we are one big community, all cheering each other on. Yes, a healthy level of competition to propel one forward is good for an athlete, but it would be counterproductive for me to compare myself in detail to those out of my league. I was beginning to second guess myself, a direct result of those wandering eyes mentioned at the beginning of this post in the classroom setting. I know my mind, and being the detailed-focused perfectionist I am, I knew I needed to gain some sense of control.
Before I go on, please don’t disconnect, we are truly one big community cheering each other on. And, we need that now more than ever! That said, don’t second guess the work you are doing, either. We can cheer others on and keep a clear focus. If you are truly striving to serve your learners and meet their needs, you are making gains. Keep your eyes on your own work.
At this point in the game, I made a personal plan to improve on one specific skill, having a coach or two to guide me and hold me accountable. I made a commitment to perform our group workout five days a week and add my extra skill training to that routine. I would report the progress in our group and to my coach. I’d still continue to foster relationships with the KVCF via our group progress reports, but I had to center my attention back on making small gains to help me become better. It was imperative to recognize (again) that I am a beginner. And, in this sport, you can’t leap over steps in the process. One skill that is helping me get my mind in the right direction is, I decided to build a 6-month strict pullup plan (with the help of a coach) and make daily progress toward that goal. I chose the pullup because this skill is foundational to other CrossFit skills.
By narrowing my focus, I continue to see personal gains, cheer on my fellow athletes, and feel successful at the end of the day when I meet my “CrossFit IEP” plan. Truthfully, the beginner’s mindset has helped me embrace new levels of empathy, compassion, and a sense of wonder for what might happen next. I needed to adjust my perspective because having done so over the last few months had become so fulfilling and rewarding–mentally and physically–which was my whole point for joining CrossFit.
Right now, in this COVID-19 “temporary new norm,” we are all beginners. There are many people out there doing outstanding things in their virtual classroom, and there is a plethora of information and resource sharing happening. And, maybe you feel like you have a pretty decent plan to connect with your students and have learning take place throughout our stay at home order. However, one can become easily distracted by seeing the progress of others. Stay connected and cheer each other on, but remember to “Keep your eyes on your own work.”
You know what’s best for those within your realm of influence. Make a plan to improve in one foundational area for you and your learners. Then, focus on making progress every day. Be intentional to connect and show your learners you see them and are there for them. Then, be purposeful to attain new “PRs” (personal records) in the area you’ve decided was best to concentrate on during this time.
When the “end” is uncertain, we must find areas of which we can zero in on right now–in the present. Don’t second-guess your efforts. There are no experts in this uncharted territory. Focus on your own work and what’s best for those you serve. You’ve got this!
I am an educator who values the individuality and uniqueness of others. Writing the blog R.E.A.L. is an outlet for me to pay it forward by sharing ideas, influences, lessons learned and exposing a little vulnerability while encouraging others to maximize their R.E.A.L. potential, as well.