Longly

In the realm of profound insights and unexpected wisdom, the musings of a four-year-old can be surprisingly enlightening. Picture this: a simple yet profound quote on loneliness spoken by a young child, Denea, at four years old, “Lonely… it’s when one person is all alone doing the best they can.” In these innocent words lies a poignant lesson that transcends age and resonates with the essence of our human experience. I’d like to delve into the wisdom encapsulated in this child’s perspective on loneliness and explore a few valuable lessons I’ve extracted from it.Loneliness Through a Child’s Eyes

Loneliness, as defined by this young philosopher, is a state where an individual finds themselves alone, navigating through life and doing their very best. The simplicity of this definition carries a weight that many adults might overlook. To me, it suggests a strength and determination inherent in the human spirit, even when faced with isolation. I’ve encountered this more than I’d like to admit of late. Resilience and Self-RelianceLoneliness, according to this adorable definition, is not just about being alone but about persevering and doing the best one can in that solitary journey. This insight teaches us about the strength within ourselves, encouraging resilience and self-reliance. In moments of solitude, there is an opportunity for personal growth, self-discovery, and the development of inner strength. As I navigate being divorced, I’m learning to embrace the idea of being alone. It’s not easy, but I’m learning so much about myself. Being alone isn’t all sad and gloomy. 

Things that bring me joy seem to have more meaning when they occur. I’ve been reminded of hobbies I’ve neglected or opportunities I’ve been “too busy” for that I now have time to consider. I’ve also had moments of…”I have to take care of this because no one is here to do it for me.” At times like that, I will call myself out and be like, “T–get it together! You are a big girl! Handle this like you know you’re capable of handling it.” And I do just that. It’s wild how being alone highlights other areas of strength in our lives.Empathy for the LonelyAs we reflect on this precious definition, it becomes clear that loneliness is not merely a physical state but an emotional one. The child recognizes the struggle of someone who is “all alone,” and by understanding this, we can cultivate empathy for those experiencing loneliness. This empathy can be a catalyst for reaching out, connecting, and offering support to those who may be going through challenging times. Being one who has always had others around or lived with someone my entire life, I realize how lonely one can feel when no one is around. It’s deep. It’s heart-penetrating. It’s a feeling I’ve truly never felt until the last few months. Life has an interesting way of teaching us things sometimes. The new levels of empathy I have discovered for those experiencing loneliness are buried in my squishy heart; they are there to stay. It’s truly a heart connection that I feel, and words just don’t do it justice. The Importance of ConnectionWhile the child’s definition highlights the strength found in solitude, it also underscores the innate human need for connection. Loneliness, in this context, is not idealized but seen as a temporary state that contrasts with the human inclination towards social bonds. It doesn’t last forever, and we have the power to make connections. I feel like this piece is a reminder of the significance of relationships. It helps us seize the moments we have to connect with others. Make it count.In fact, the more I connect with myself, the more I connect with the right people. Those who seem to be perfectly placed in my life for such a time as this. It’s almost magical how it happens. I find myself appreciating people more, making a point to let them know, and doing my best to communicate with them clearly. I want those I’m fortunate to encounter to feel valued, appreciated, and enough. Finding Fulfillment WithinIn the Denae’s sweet words, the person facing loneliness is doing their best. I feel like this implies a pursuit of fulfillment and purpose, even in the absence of external companionship. I’ve gleaned so much from this perspective. My goal is to recognize and make time and space for self-love, self-care, and finding fulfillment within myself. Loneliness, in this light, has become an opportunity for personal development and introspection. I find myself self-talking and saying, “I can do this…ALL by myself!”This sweet little quote has been so helpful for me during a trying season of my life. From the perspective of a four-year-old, “longly” is where we gain resilience, empathy, and even find fulfillment. Denae’s perspective challenges us to reevaluate our understanding of loneliness. If you encounter loneliness, I hope you, too, carry some of these lessons forward, embracing the strength within, fostering empathy, nurturing connections, and discovering the profound beauty that can be found even in moments of solitude.

Episode 40: “Longly”

Would love for you to tune into Ep 40 of the #RealJourneyShow–Longly.

During this episode, I share how I’ve gleaned insight (during my current chapter of life) from a 4-year-old’s definition of loneliness.

It’s—Raw. Real. Life updates. Enlightening. Only 12 mins.

“Longly—it’s when one person is all alone doing the best that they can.”- 4-year-old, Denae