If It Doesn't Align, Decline

We've all been there—standing at a crossroads, faced with an opportunity that doesn't sit quite right. Maybe it's a job offer that looks great on paper but doesn't fit your long-term vision. Perhaps it's a social event you feel obligated to attend, even though your heart says no. Or, in the world of dating, maybe it's someone who seems great initially but doesn't truly align with your values and energy.

In both personal and professional life—and definitely in the dating world—alignment is everything. 

And when something doesn't align?

It's okay—

no, it's necessary—

to decline.

Protecting Your Energy 

For much of my life, I was a people-pleaser. I said yes when I wanted to say no. I took on responsibilities that drained me. I pushed through situations that weren't serving me, thinking that was just part of being a "good" person.

But the truth?

Every misaligned yes chipped away at my well-being.

CrossFit has taught me a lot about alignment—not just in movement but in mindset. Every rep has a purpose. Every workout is intentional. And if I move in a way that doesn't align with the proper form? I risk injury.

The same applies to life. When we agree to things that don't match our values and capacity, we burn out. Saying no isn't selfish; it's self-preservation.

So now, I ask myself:

• Does this decision align with my core values?
• Will this bring me closer to the life I want to create?
• Am I saying yes out of obligation, or do I really desire this?

If the answer doesn't align, I decline. With kindness, of course, but also with confidence.

Well...this mantra is a work in progress, but I find myself repeating it over and over as I make decisions.

Integrity Over Obligation

Professionally, the same rule applies. Be it speaking engagements, new writing opportunities, or everyday work-related decisions, alignment should be non-negotiable.

I've learned that success isn't just about saying yes to every opportunity—it's about saying yes to the right ones.

Whether you're making career moves or setting professional boundaries, maybe ask yourself:

• Will this decision support my long-term growth?
• Am I making this choice from a place of confidence or fear?

If it doesn't align, decline.

The right opportunities from the right people won't require you to compromise who you are.

No More Settling 

Now, let's talk about dating—especially dating in your 40s. Dear Heavens...how did I get here?!

Look, in our younger years, we often contort ourselves to fit into relationships. We make excuses and dismiss anything that doesn't quite match up. We compromise and overlook red flags--shoot, what was a red flag in 1997?! But one of the greatest gifts of getting older is realizing that you don't have to force anything.

Dating in your 40s hits differently; I certainly have no idea how to do it. But one thing I do know is--I KNOW who I am. I know what brings me peace and what disrupts it.

However, I watch those around me feel pressure to be in a relationship and often settle for less than alignment. It's sad and yet so common.

Here's the truth: If it doesn't align, decline.

A great first date doesn't mean long-term compatibility. A charming personality doesn't override core value differences. Consistency matters.

Integrity matters.

The way someone makes you feel matters.

If this relates to you, maybe ask yourself:

• Do I feel seen, heard, valued, etc.?
• Am I making excuses for red flags because I like to believe the best about people?

Consider the answers that pop in your mind to each of those questions. 

Don't chase.

Don't force.

Don't invest in potential.

Decline.

Trust that the right person won't require you to compromise your standards or your peace.

The Power of a Purposeful No

Saying no is hard, especially when we're used to prioritizing others over ourselves. But alignment is a form of self-respect.

A purposeful no makes space for the right yes.

So, the next time you're faced with a decision—

whether it's a social invitation, 

a job opportunity,

or your next date--

truly check in with yourself. 

If it aligns, embrace it!

And if it doesn't align...

Decline.

Because the best things in life aren't forced. They fit.