Many Times, We Are The Missing Piece

By Tara M Martin

Mar 24

I often think of the little girls with crooked pigtails and wonder who their teachers are. Do they notice their broken hearts? Are they restoring faith in these children to believe life can be different? Do they tell them you aren’t defined by your current circumstances?

I hope so.

Of course, my soul always feels the kindred spirits in my midst. It takes me no time at all to recognize them; it’s as if our hearts speak to each other without consulting our minds.

My hopes in this life are unrealistic; I wish so badly that all children had a mommy and daddy that showed them how valuable they were. I wish that no child would ever have to wonder if they were worthy of living or worry about being a “mistake.” However, that isn’t the case in this thing called life. 

The truth is, everyone wants to belong. We all long for that sense of being viewed as something precious, something special, something of worth. However, little people who lack this basic emotional need, search for it and often come up empty-handed. Sure, some people tell them sweet things “you’re pretty,” “you’re special,” but their actions are far from fulfilling. We have students who face similar situations. They need us to restore their faith in humanity–piece by piece. In fact, many times, we (as educators) are the missing piece for the little lives placed in our realm of influence. My second-grade teacher was my missing piece, and I’m ever grateful.

I want to be that for those I serve.

Their “hope” piece.

Their “you are an overcomer” piece. 

Their “I’m your cheerleader” piece.

Their “unconditional love” piece. 

They are worthy.

Heck, YOU are worthy. No matter your past, no matter your current situation, no matter your choices–good, bad, ugly. No matter who your family is or isn’t. No “one thing” defines your entire existence. YOU have a purpose in this life, and your presence blesses the world.

I heard this song today and couldn’t help but think of all of the “six-year-olds” out there that might be sitting in our classrooms doubting their value. As educators, let’s never let that be the case in our schools. Overtly point out the talents and strengths of these little (and big) people. They need to see what we see and be encouraged to overcome. Will their scars stick around for a lifetime? Most likely. However, we all deserve to feel valued. We are all worthy of unconditional love and a sense of belonging. Let’s do our part.

Are you the missing “hope” piece for someone you serve? 

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About the Author

I am an educator who values the individuality and uniqueness of others. Writing the blog R.E.A.L. is an outlet for me to pay it forward by sharing ideas, influences, lessons learned and exposing a little vulnerability while encouraging others to maximize their R.E.A.L. potential, as well.

Dawn Wohling

Oh Tara……..once again your words speak right to my heart! In our district we have spent many hours talking about looking through a different lens with our students……a trauma sensitive lens………one where we see the students heart and soul and not just the child in front of us who might be defying us with every inch of their soul……challenging us beyond belief……..really seeing them for who they are and not the behaviors they are displaying at the moment! And yet……..for some it is difficult……….for me…….growing up in a dysfunctional family…….with uncertainty on a daily basis………makes it easy for me to understand…….to get it………to share my story with my students and show them that they can come out of this okay………that what we experience doesn’t have to define us and can truly make us stronger!! I tell my students often that I would not change a thing that happened to me in my life as it has shaped me into the person I am today…….a very empathetic……understanding and caring person who loves her students very much!! So…….I press on…….I talk with my co-workers…….I write like you and share my thoughts and experiences with my students in my classroom with the hope that people will see it and get a glimpse into how important they are to their students each and every day. I repeat over and over that every child is one caring adult away from being a success story…….as it was the caring adults who saved me in my young life!! I am so inspired by what you write and I share your thoughts with my co-workers as much as I can! Little by little……..slowly but surely……..we can make our schools the safe space for all of our students………for isn’t that what they truly deserve? A place to come to to feel loved……..and cared about………and wanted…….and safe! 🙂 Thank you for being the light in some of my darker days!! You truly are a wonder!!

    Tara M Martin

    Dawn, thank you for all of your sweet support. I’m honored you shared so much of your story in this comment. YOU, my friend, are a bright spot for many students. Keep shining and encouraging the little girls with crooked pigtails (and the little boys, too); they need YOU! ((hugs))

Judy Wilson

So true, Tara. My 4th grade grandson struggles in school so its not a place he feels successful. Today he scored a basket at his basketball game. Being the smallest on his team, and the least experienced (it took him a long time to agree to play on a team) this was a great accomplishment. I face-timed him just to tell him how proud I am of his accomplishment on the court today. He smiled so bright it lit the room. He so needs to feel ‘successful’ at something and not feel like a failure in this thing called life. Piece by piece school tears him down with outdated assessments – memorizing 15 dictionary (who still has a dictionary anyway) definitions, then getting a “fill in blank” and “matching column” test. When will we get the message that we must give students options of different ways to learn and options in the way they demonstrate their learning and in the ways we assess their learning. Thanks for your post. It really resonated with this Grammy!

    Tara M Martin

    Judy, your response is heartfelt and beautiful. Thank you for sharing. Yes. Yes. Yes. Your little guy needs to feel valued. We all have so many things to offer the world and our precious packages aren’t the same; that’s the beauty of being fearfully and wonderfully made. It melts me that he is having a poor experience in school. However, I’m so very grateful he has a wonderful Grammy like you to be his “mirror holder”–holding up the mirror and showing him all of his awesomeness.

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