Push On. You Will Either Win or Learn.

Competition is in my blood.Not with life stuff—as in when asked, “Who is your hero?” or “Who do you model your life after?” I can never name someone. I don’t compete with people in life. In fact, my best answer for those types of questions is simply a response I heard from Matthew McConaughey years ago—”My hero is me in 10 years.” Why?Because I’m in constant competition with myself, always chasing new goals, new PRs (personal records), and new challenges to grow from.

Sometimes It’s Game On!

That said, in actual games or tournament type settings, I wouldn’t say I like to lose. Not even a little. I’m NOT one of those people who enters a competition and says, “Don’t worry about giving it your all. Let’s just have fun.” No. That is not me. I’m all about having fun, but I’m ALL in! Full send. Let’s fight to WIN!That said, I don’t always win.News flash, right?I wrote about this in Chapter 10 of Be REAL: Educate from the Heart.In this chapter, I share of a competitive kickboxing match I fought and lost. I had won so many fights leading up to this one and had made it to our area’s state championship semifinals match in Austin, Texas. There, I let everyone down; I lost! It was a BIG learning experience in front of thousands of people. Humiliated is an understatement. But, upon reflection—I needed that blow to wake me up and remind me that when we lose, we actually learn.  A lot. 

As I watched the VHS tape of that fight a number of times, move by move, I gained so much insight into my lack of performance that day. Each note I took, reminded me of the things my coach has been telling me for months. I wrote about some of these lessons learned and compared them to life–The 10 Approachability Principles from the Teen Kickboxer. (See graphic below, and read Chapter 10 of Be REAL for more insight.)

The point remains– I had to experience this particular defeat to truly LEARN what my coach had been trying to get through to me for months. And, along the way, I learned a few life lessons that have stuck with me some 25+ years later. 

Random Fact: Many of the “lessons learned” above occurred after the fight when meeting my fans in the VIP hall. Yes, I learned valuable lessons that I still remember today–when I had to face my loss head-on with the ones that cheered for me to succeed. 

Sometimes this happens in life, too. Not always are our “learned” moments internal–sometimes others witness them; it’s just part of the process.

Everyone Can’t Be the Winner!

But, everyone can’t be winners. I’m not a fan of that mentality either. Everyone doesn’t get a trophy for showing up. That’s not even realistic. In my opinion, we should not mislead our future generation like that. 

Even though I hate losing, once I get my mind straight and begin viewing it as a learning opportunity–I’m made better for it. Every. Single. Time.

In the scenario above, I did not win! I didn’t go home with the championship belt that night. I went home with a cut eye, a beat-up face, sore ribs, and a feeling of defeat. But, I also went home with a lot of lessons learned! 

Is It Really Losing?

My question remains…

When considering life-stuff…why do we call it losing?Why do we put that kind of pressure on ourselves? What if we make a choice that didn’t serve our life-purpose or possibly made a decision that hurt people we care about?Did we really lose at life?

If you still have a heartbeat, did you lose EVERYthing?

I can’t help but think–no! As long as there is breath, there is hope. There is a chance that you can learn from that experience and do better when given another opportunity.

What if we push on, fighting to win–but knowing we will either win or learn?!You get to choose how you view life’s experiences.

Push on. You’ll either Win or Learn! It’s part of the process. And, both winning and learning are sure to help you continue to move forward!