Recently I was asked the question, “If you could share one message with the whole world using a phrase or sentence, what would it be?”
Immediately I wanted to say, “Be REAL. Relatable, Expose a little vulnerability, Approachable, and always Learn through Life!”
But, I decided to pause and really think about it. And, this was my response. (Also, a quote from Be REAL *wink*)
“Keep in mind, what’s happening on the outside doesn’t always reflect what’s happening on the inside.”
What’s Happening on the Outside
This past week, I was reminded of my “one-line message” to the world.
I posted this picture on Day 2 of our #GratitudeSnaps Challenge and received a DM, from a respected PLN pal, stating their thoughts, which included, “I know you like CrossFit, but it’s making your arms look masculine. You don’t want that!”–along with other unwanted opinions. This isn’t my first time hearing a comment like this one. Usually, I dismiss them and carry on. But, after reading and re-reading that message, I felt and thought a lot of things.
Side Note: I get lots of positive messages, too–WAY more than negative–for sure.
First, I actually appreciate that this person felt comfortable sharing their opinion with me in DMs. That’s REAL, and I can respect that. However, I was also reminded that opinions don’t define or decide what is true for YOU.
I truly believe there are many “inside” pieces that PLN pal simply did not see from my workout journey images and videos.
And, I think sometimes–we, as humans, miss “what’s happening on the inside” of others, too.
First, A Few Questions Came to Mind
1) Why do we (as humans) assume our opinion is of value to others?.
2) Why are there standards created by the world that most of us don’t and won’t ever measure up to?
3) How often do others misperceive our purpose or mission?
What’s Happening on the Inside
What was not seen…
1.) Just because you voice your opinion doesn’t mean the recipient has to accept it.
2.) Did it sting?
Yes.. I already said I was struggling in the image.
More than that–it made my heart ache for students who don’t fit the mold or the world’s standards–be it physical, ability levels, life or sexuality choices, etc. Do we (as educators) push our opinions on them? I’m a big girl; I can take it. But, thinking about the kids…that melted me.
3.) I didn’t join CrossFit to look good! It’s true. And, obviously, people have very different meanings of what is attractive and not. I’m satisfied with my appearance. But, more than that, I’m thrilled with the deeper benefits the sport has brought to my life.
More Happening on the Inside
I joined CrossFit a little over a year ago because my therapist suggested it to help me after an 8-week deep depression. It was part of our little plan to help get some solid supports in place and was based on my interests, previous trauma struggles, and an on-going battle with perfectionism.
After brainstorming a few ideas, clubs, and sports I could get involved in, we decided CrossFit would fit me well. My doc knew I would have NO choice but to adopt a “Beginner’s Mindset,” because she had another client that had tried it and had great success..
She was right. That “Beginner’s Mindset” has been transformational in my life. It’s interesting because I would teach that to my students and staff, but I held myself to a ridiculous standard–always. By allowing my mind to get comfortable being a beginner, I actually perform at a much more efficient pace–personally and professionally! Wild?! Right? And, I’ve developed new levels of empathy for those within my realm of influence, too. You can’t study your way to the top in CrossFit–you have to work for it–skill by skill. I’m a hard-worker, but I have certainly developed a new appreciation for breaking it down and celebrating small wins..
The plan, my therapist and I made, was to chase small benchmark goals, keep my mind focused on growing, release endorphins that would help strengthen my thought process, and get so dang tired I would sleep at night. *There’s more, but for this blog, this will suffice.
After my chat with her that very day, I left and drove straight to Kaw Valley CrossFit. Within an hour, I signed my membership contract. My only regret–not starting sooner!
A Few More Things Happening on the Inside
What that PLN friend didn’t see from that image above is the five nights of less than four hours of sleep due to night terrors.
For the last twelve years, at this time of the year–my mind reminds me (when I’m sleeping) that this is the season my dad was murdered. And, the brutal murder scene plays out in my head, in my subconscious, when I’m trying to sleep–every. single. year–night after night during this month–without fail!
Side Note: My creative mind is incredible when it’s creating meaningful content for students and educators around the world, but it is ruthlessly cruel when it replays this event and others from my abusive childhood. A blessing and a curse.
That said, the point of the image above was to credit my routine of working out and CrossFit as being so much more than a place to get a rock-solid bod! It was a reminder that I have an obligation to get up, get ready, and workout–even when I don’t feel the motivation to do so, because it helps me. It keeps my body AND mind healthy! Granted–physical fitness is a benefit that I love, but this sport has provided me much MUCH more. It’s an outlet to challenge myself, clear my mind, chase PRs (personal records) and let go of this idea of striving for perfectionism. It has also kept me from needing medication to calm my thoughts at times like these. (I’m not opposed to medication, but grateful I no longer have to take it.)
My Hope
I’m not trying to convince you to start CrossFit.
I’m hoping to convince you to look beyond what you see on the outside and KNOW there is likely another story–deep inside.
And, please…for the love of (insert whatever/whoever you believe in)–stop placing limitations on others.
One more…
As educators, let our students never say we limited them or criticized them for not fitting the world’s standard–which is obviously flawed.
Instead,
Let it be said that we (as educators)–.
- Respected their differences and unique, REAL identity.
- Valued them–just how they are.
- Appreciated them and their ideas, talents, and strengths..
- Celebrated their dedication to whatever dream they decide to chase.
It’s not about us or our preconceived ideas–it’s about what’s best for THEM!
So, to the World…
Keep in mind, what’s happening on the outside doesn’t always reflect what’s happening on the inside.
