The Struggle Is REAL – How Do You Navigate Tough Decisions?

By Tara M Martin

Mar 22

Life is so full of ups and downs,

twists and turns,

ins and outs, and

heart moments that leave you solution-searching.

Most days I ride this rollercoaster of life with my hands straight up and my mouth wide open–lots of smiles and giggles. On those days, I cannonball in the waters and swim frantically to the top for air, learning as I go. However, there are days when my zeal is zapped, and my mind meanders through mucky moments of uncertainty. 

Why?

Why does the answer come easy on some days and others you have no idea which way to turn?

It’s in moments like this, I simply have to go with what I heard my heart last tell me. The last thing I was sure of guides me until the next moment of surety or the next brave cannonball-in jump.

How do you navigate tough decisions?

Do you have a confidant? Someone you can rely on to guide you one direction or the next? I think I’m that person for a lot of people; however, that’s never really been an option for me. It’s just not in the hand of cards life dealt me.

Do you pray or meditate?

I usually go back to my why. What is it I stand for and how will the next move impact my why?

Another super nerdy thing I do is make a T-chart? Yes, I’m an #ultimatenerd. If it’s not something I’m willing to cannonball in the waters and try, and I’m stuck on a decision, I usually list out the pros and cons of each choice. Then, I weigh out the options. Which answer seems to make the most sense? It doesn’t always work, but it does provide a new way of looking at multiple solutions.

What are your tips?

In what ways do we help our students navigate tough decisions? Do we show them multiple ways to reason out their options? Do we share our vulnerability when things are tough for us, and we don’t know which way to turn? Or, do we share lessons learned from making a poor choice? 

Life is hard and the struggle of making the “right” choice(s) is REAL for all humans–not just children. 

For me, it works to trust the last sure thing I felt in my heart until I feel a new point of surety. Also, many times I run things through the filter–“If it seems too good to be true, it most likely is TOO good to be true.” Trust your gut. But, I’m not going to lie, guts are hard to trust. 

REAL talk.

Decision making.

The struggle is REAL.

What are your tips? What do you do when you’re at the decision-making crossroad? What strategies do you teach children when they are facing a similar REAL struggle?

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About the Author

I am an educator who values the individuality and uniqueness of others. Writing the blog R.E.A.L. is an outlet for me to pay it forward by sharing ideas, influences, lessons learned and exposing a little vulnerability while encouraging others to maximize their R.E.A.L. potential, as well.

Andrew Easton

Tara,

First off, thanks for sharing. I always appreciate reading your blog! In response to your question about supporting learners through their struggles (though it may have been rhetorical), I advocate for personalized learning because I believe that oftentimes learning is frustrating or disengaging or a challenge for learners purely because they are not attuned to their own unique learning preferences and the conditions necessary to help them find a successful path to learning and/or demonstrating what they know. And so to answer the question of what can we do, one suggestion would be simply to listen to learner voice. Being willing to listen AND being responsive to that conversation is essential in the educator-learner dynamic; it makes the conversation REAL. And sometimes, as your post mentions, students, just like we do as adults/teachers, need to know someone is there who cares and can offer support to them, and that might be all it takes given that hard times and struggles are inevitable in life. Anyway, thanks for the thought-provoking post and for keeping it REAL : )

    Tara M Martin

    Thanks for your amazing response, Andrew. LOVE it! Tailoring learning to needs of our end-users is certainly a set up for success. I am in awe of the amazing work you do on this topic. Keep ROCKIN’ it for kids, Andrew.

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